Challenges On Roads I’ve Chosen

I was laughing while reading the previous entry and decided that its time to update my abandoned blog. As usual.

To start things off, life has been great! =D

Tho I dont quite like the whole new layout for friendster blog. Its more, complicating than its usual. I guess, some of you might probably be mumbling, “get yourself updated, switch to blogspot!” by now.

Well so.. Am finally in degree now! Thanks to all for the prayers. Its my first short and hectic semester. Currently doing Bachelors in International Business, three years. I dont know how am I gona survive. It was my foundation graduation ceremony last week but I dint attend. lol. Havent been active in any clubs or events this semester. After all, am left with another week to finals then I’ll be off with about seven weeks of holiday! That spells fun or perhaps not? My previous employer which is also my own uncle, is suggesting I should work part-time for Loreal. Yea i know, like again? Sigh. Hopefully there aint no vacancy. xP

Next, about the whole break-up thingy, its a “we-got-back-together” now. =) He got back just two days before my birthday (this year obviously, duh) and told me he’ll be studying in INTI for another year and a half before transfering to Australia. So yea, he’s back - we’re back together - life is finally falling into place! x )

There was no biggie celebration or party for me birthday but my sweet boyfriend planned out a small surprise “cut-the-cake-and-sing-happy-birthday” for me. And not forgetting the CK perfume set as a gift. Yea, my yet most expensive luxury gift to date. Also getting birthday wishes from everyone; old long-lost friends, school-mates, etc; really made my day!

On the other hand, the past month has been rather eventful: Benny, Genie, Shawnie and more etc. Haha. Family wise: Mum hasnt been lucky lately. Got snatched by some useless Malaysian. They dint manage to get her handbag tho. But she got her fourth and fifth rib-bones fractured. Curse all the snatch thieves! Dad is at god-knows-where doing god-knows-what. And it was also granny’s one year death anniversary somewhere last month. See how fast time passes by?

In other news section would be:

1. Joshua left to Australia

2. Siva left to America

3. Daddy Mishal left to China

4. Yuva Mami is getting lucky-in-love

5. Veena’s one-month-gay-relationship-with-me was successful (but unfortunately we decided to end it)

6. Janet is finally in talking terms with her housemate (the other one)

7. CatMan found his CatWoman!

8. Anbu reads my blog

9. I wore my very-first-saree; bought by my sayang all the way from Mumbai

10. The attention seeker dint graduate from foundation & is still living her life in a lie along with her useless; he-left-his-balls-somewhere; husband

God Bless.

And oh, another thing! FACEBOOK. I guess by now everyone should already know what that is. If you dont, go to http://www.facebook.com and check it out. Anyway, back to me and Facebook. Well, its fun to know you can find practically anyone on there but when family members have them too.. Its definitely a headache. Yea, its like half of my family & extended family members are adding me there! Oh, not forgetting annoying stalkers who stalks via Facebook and goes around talking about what you’ve done there. Just freaking kills the fun.

Anyway, I guess thats all for now.

Till then.

xoxo

u know u love me

ahh.. fourth semester.

yes, am still in college. if you’ve read the entry before this, you might probably know that i was actually at the urge of quitting college. anyhow, i passed my maths. like uh- finally? but still, there aint much difference for this semester. why? simply cos i’ll still be having maths: TWO. yea, screw me.

so far, things are doing great. i’ve been pretty active in college this semester. not in the sense of partying; clubbing every night but in the wise of getting myself involved in events after events organized by the clubs in college. expanded my social network, met loadsa new people. and some weird ones too. *coughs* all these stuff has got me mind pretty much occupied that i just realized the semester is almost at the end! i mean, like seriously. it felt like just yesterday, i enrolled for this semester. bluergh. while academically, i’ve no idea whats been going on in class. am still, as usual.. lost in maths class. english class; am most of the time floating in cloud nine.

family is doing fine too. eversince granny left us, things around the house has pretty much changed. its more quiet. by 10pm, the doors of the house are shutted. grandpa goes to bed by latest 11pm. gosh. it used to feel like its 8pm when its already midnight. now everything has turned around. even uncles and aunts no longer spend much time at grams place. at times, i feel its not right for my grandpa to get lesser attention than my granny did. pity him. sigh. oh by the way, i dont go back to melaka as often as i used to anymore too. probably two, three weeks once. well, am evil too rite? i know.

the other side of my life? yea, things are going pretty well. its been like what? going on eight months? at this point, i can hear my aunt snorting saying eight months is nothing compared to eight years. hmph. but still, its amazing to know how we actually managed to live in two different places yet being able to tolerate well enough in the name of love. tho yea, we had our pretty rough days. the days where all sensitivity and jealousy bundles up, raising arguments and causing either one of us to feel the pain in the end. i must admit, it isnt easy. it sucks. imagine you seeing your good mates walking around with their loved ones in their arms. going all cushy-mushy. and what do you get? nothing more than a phone call. or perhaps video call then. thats if the internet connection isnt being a pain in the arse. sigh. okay, i dont know what am i crapping now.

to rap things up, my college’s prom night :: INTI Ball :: is just around the corner. to be exact, its this weekend. 5th of July. and guess what? am not going. sobs. but oh well, my imaginary daddy.. mishal, will be running for prom king! woohoo! cheers.

peace out.

Four months ago, I was a different person. Today, I am yet another different person. Nobody expected, in fact not even myself expected me to be who I am today.

Within this three months, it has been the best days of my life. Many things had happened and am really glad it did. Unfortunately, it never lasts.

He isnt my dream guy. He isnt the guy I’d picture myself going out with. He is an average but very psychotic guy. He is a typical spoilt-brat. He is short. He has a big belly. He is extremely emotionally sensitive or some-say protective. And he owns an ugly profile of his past. He is everything you wouldnt want your guy to be. Well, not exactly everything. But after all… The past is in the past and somehow rather; when it happens, it happens. Those around me would know better what exactly happened.

He gave me a memorable three months which is enough for me to live for the rest of my days. Though he aint perfect, he still manage to give the best of what he could. He is the first who took me out on a real proper date. Yes, proper decent dinner, desserts, my favorite hot hazelnut chocolate drink from Starbucks and a movie. He is the first who taught me how to accept and never disgrace others. He is patient towards my attitude. Never complains no matter how much I bully him. He tries to adapt with my social-life tho he never liked it. He is there for me during my rough days and knows exactly how to comfort me. He would walk under the rain at three in the morning just to get me chocolates. He broke his beliefs of a pure vegetarian by eating eggs just because I love it too. He would sit and watch me do my assignments up to wee hours just to accompany me. He even buys roses and daisies on random days that truly made my day. I know some of you might think this is ridiculous or for the guys, you might think that’s just what every other guy would do.. Well, I could go on and on about the facts about him which where none would believe unless they witness with their own naked eyes. Though, like any other ordinary human beings.. He surely does have his own bad habits. Anyway, as I’ve mentioned.. It never last. He left about two weeks ago to do his degree in Australia or maybe Canada, oh god knows where his final decision would be. Whether or not there will be more chapters of this fresh new blossoming relationship, we leave to destiny to decide.

Therefore, this entry is specially dedicated to him for I could not be there with him for two of the special occasions. To my valentine, Happy Belated 21^st and Happy Valentines Day to you. Though we’re far apart, it doesnt matter. Everyday is a valentine for as long as am filled with your love. What matters most is you stay strong and tell me you’ll be back soon for me = )

With loads love, hugs and kisses,

your biwi.

just the other day i was giving my presentation of a speech for my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. telling my coursemates how glad and proud i am to have such wonderful grandparents and sharing with them my story touched their hearts that almost everyone shed a tear. but who knew, what was about to happened.

theres a time to meet, to get to know others and the destiny in our hands will bring us closer to the special ones. but before we know, time flies and bonds of our relationship will eventually come to an end.

my grandmother. a great wife, mother and grandmother to all eleven kids and sixteen grandchildren left us to another land on 16th august 2007 which falls on a thursday at 2.40am.

it was a sudden shock to all of us. she was fine. she could still talk. sit up. eat. laugh. everything was normal. but we never know when death takes control of our lives.

i still remember, the weekend before she left.. my aunt kept calling me on the phone, asking me to go online so my granny could see me via web cam. but then i dint. i was out studying for finals. and usually i’d call back home every two days, atleast. but then again i dont know what went into me. i dint call back for the straight four days before she passed away. the last time i saw her was two weeks ago, the last time i spoke to her was four days ago. its so hard for me to forgive myself for not being there with her when she was in pain.

tho on the thursday morning which is the midnite of wednesday, i felt very uneasy. i felt so frustrated. i couldnt concentreate studying at all. i was losing my head and i cried thru the whole nite till the next day to examination hall. at that time, i dint know bout the news yet.

till later that night, as arranged, my uncle -and surprisingly my dad-came to pick me up. at bout 9.40pm he called telling me hes already waiting at my block. at the same time when i rushed back to my block, i received a text message from my mum saying my grandmother passed away earlier that morning. i was shocked. stunned. but when i look up at my uncle, he said nothing. i was thinking maybe my mum typed wrongly and replied her asking for confirmation. while waiting for her reply, i ran up four levels getting my stuff down. she dint reply.

fifteen minutes later in the car, my dad broke the news. when i arrived back to my grams place, i couldnt believe my eyes watching her lying peacefully in the coffin. i never expect it to be this soon. never. i kept wondering why this soon- why wasnt i there for her? why cant i see her for one last time? i was going back that night. she knew that. why dint she wait for me? WHY? worst of all, in the whole family, am the last to know. reason? i was having exams. fuck exams. to me, its not a reasonable excuse for me to be the last to know.

my grandmother has been more than just any ordinary grandmother to me. i stayed with her since i was one month old. being the only child, she along with my grandfather are the two closest companions in my whole life time. compared to my other cousins who has siblings, i was more closer with my both grandparents.

right up to today, every once in two weeks when am back, i’d spend my nights at her place. she was the one who drag me to the toilet every morning during preschool days. she was the one who tied my hair every morning from preschool right up to primary school. she was the one who made me pancakes for tea. she knew exactly what i like to eat. she was like my own mother. for all my life, i have spent more time with her than with my own mother.

now shes gone, am still not able to face the fact. as for me, she’ll always be with me: in my mind, in my heart. nobody in this whole wide world can take over her place. i’d pray for her to live happily in the next world. hope till then, i’ll meet her there once again.

god bless.

had elementary english and information technology paper today.

as usual:

it shucks.

tho am praying i wont have to retake these subjects next semester.

ps: two more papers to go!