was just wondering since i’ve nothing to do.. have you guys came across an interesting article on last sunday [04/03/07] The Star papers? its in the StarMag section on the INsight page sixteen.
the article was basically written on the strong, ambitious and outspoken womens’ today who are often thrown for the insult of been labelled a bitch; of course turning it into a compliment. heres some parts of the article which i think were the words of most women who wishes they could just speak it out and even some words to knock into our minds, maybe.
Girls are "bossy" and grow into women who "nag" while boys of all ages are "authoritative" and "natural-born-leaders". When men go out for a drink together it is considered positive social interaction or "networking"; when women get together they "gossip". But the stereotype that many women hate the most is "bitch". Men bitch too, of course, only in their case it is with a palpable hint of respect or they are hailed for the acerbic wit. Actor Bette Davis once said:
"When a man gives his oppinion, he’s a man; when a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch."
For centuries, the straight definition of the word bitch was simply a sexually promiscuous woman. Then, as women became more powerful throughout the 20th century, the definition expanded to include being duplicitious. Now men tend to call women bitches when they do not get what they want from them. So, if a woman turns a man down for a date, she is a bitch. If she climbs the career ladder faster than him, she is a bitch. If she becomes his boss and turns down one of his ideas, she is - you guessed it - a bitch. (now girls, dont you just have to agree with this?)
Given all its negative connotations, it is NOT surprising that women FEAR being called a bitch. In fact, though, it is something that we should embrace. Why? The US feminist magazine Bitch explains it like this on its website:
"When it’s being used as an insult, bitch is an epithet hurled at women who speak their minds, who have opinions and do not shy away from expressing them and who do not sit by and smile uncomfortably if they are bothered or offended. If being an outspoken woman means being a bitch, we will take that as a compliment, thanks."
We become the bitch, the bad girl, when we want more, when we are not prepared to make do with what we have and when being heard is more important than being liked. That is a liberating feeling. If we fear being labelled as a bitch, we still seek validation from men on their terms rather than ours.
Teenage girls bitch to bond when they feel vulnerable and bitching to bully is rife in schools. This is rarely detected because it can be very subtle but when women bitch from a position of sheer envy and vulnerability it can have devastating effects. Girls have little guidance as how to move from that ugly, bad bitch stereotype to being a strong, good bitch who stands up to the world with courage.
But bitching can be clever, if done with wit and irony. A good bitch with someone you trust can also be cathartic when life as a women gets you down. It is better for your health than anti-depressants and cheaper than theraphy. Few things are more interesting than other people - talking about them behind their backs is often illuminating as well as entertaining.
Bette Davis also said:
"Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it’s because I’m not a bitch."
Sadly, girls still grow up with stereotypical "good" girl notions of femininity and when we are not aware of how fettered we are by these stereotypes, we veer towards being the kind of weak bitches who put other women down simply to make ourselves feel better. Though, there is a much stronger bitch inside each one of us just bursting to get out.
Real women are loud, brave outspoken, astute and funny, as well as kind, loving and supportive. So let her out, girls, for "life’s a bitch and then you die". You might as well get what you want from it while you can.
there you go.
atleast now i’ve learnt something. =)
have you?
